Earlier "today" (it's almost 5am and I can't sleep, so technically this was "yesterday") I was talking with a couple friends about pets we've had over the years.
A couple hours later, I went to a psychic/spiritual connection meetup group for the first time. Turns out the leaders wanted to focus on pets "today." They asked if I had any pets I wanted to communicate with.
There is one cat I feel a lot of guilt over. I had a whole lot typed out about him, but it was turning into a multi-paragraph novel so I backspaced it all. The brief synopsis is he chose me to be his human when he was homeless. He climbed up on my lap while I was outside smoking when I visited my mom at her old house, then he waited outside for me. For a half hour, 45 minutes. So I took him home with me and we became best friends. He was an epic cuddle buddy, rarely meowed, and he had the sweetest disposition. 5 years later and around when I lost a job and was having no luck finding a new one (even putting myself out there for cash work; nada) he became sick. He was still my Tabby, but he lost a lot of weight. Fast. And something about him was Off. Just thinking about it makes me cry cuz I failed him. I couldn't afford to take him to a vet. I couldn't stand that he was suffering. Nobody else wanted to take in an old sick cat. I didn't know what to do for him, so I signed him over to the SPCA cuz I knew they'd do what they could for him. But they wouldn't tell me anything about him after I signed him over. I've hated myself for this ever since. He was my best friend. He trusted me and loved me and I failed him when he needed me most.
"Do you have any deceased pets you'd like to speak with?" "Tabby." "Was he an orange tabby? Cuz there's one right in the window looking in at us." I looked, and sure enough their neighbours orange and white cat was staring from one of their bedroom windows into the leaders living room. "That's an odd coincidence, but no. He was a grey tabby." "We just had a grey tabby sunbathing on our porch earlier today!" Another odd coincidence. Everyone then focused on communicating with my possibly dead cat. I've never tried this Medium thing before, so I wasn't sure what anyone else was doing or what I should do. I really only went to the group because my deceased grandma told my mom (in a dream-visit) and I we need to get out more, and also because I want to learn to control my random useless psychic powers. (Random useless things like Seeing an ex having a baby boy with his gf after me...a year or two later, they had a baby boy. Wtf do I want to see that for?! I don't!) I closed my eyes and focused on Tabby. Idk if it was imaginary or not, but I saw his face up in mine, ready for one of our cuddlefests like we used to have. Everyone else was quiet, and after a few minutes (and assuming I was merely picturing what I wanted) I said "I guess Tabby doesn't want to come..." They opened their eyes, and one by one told me their accounts. The first to speak spoke of Tabby's favourite time of day and spots to lay. The next to speak ...I will get back to. The third...he got tears in his eyes "He said you gave him the gift of hope." How? I failed him when he needed me most 😢💔 "He said not to feel bad; everything happened as it was meant to: He was adopted by an older lady almost immediately. You gave him the gift of hope by taking him in and loving him. He was a stray when you met him, right? He said to thank you for him." 😠oh my Tabby, I miss you 💔
The second one who spoke did not describe my Tabby. She described another cat I had from my childhood. I didn't even have that cat long, though it wasn't my choice. My parents got him thinking he was a she. The pet store said he was a girl. Fiona was a beautiful gray Himalayan with striking blue eyes. My parents wanted to breed "her" with their male, but as Fiona got older "she" and Rocky started fighting a lot because it turned out Fiona was a Fernando. Being breeders, my parents kept the cat with papers and gave my Fiona/Fernando to my aunt and uncle. They kept him until the end of his physical life, and at some point he needed to have some kind of surgery. Being a kid during all this, I don't know the details of the surgery. Just that it was expensive and it was worth it. So I was really shocked when this woman described Fernando in such vivid detail, the spots he liked to sit, and even an abdominal issue on his right side. (I'll have to clarify what the surgery was for with my mom later.) She said he's usually in the perimeter of the same room I'm in; walking around and being nearby. Which would explain why I sometimes see pet-height blurs in my peripheral vision, or Feel a cat jump in bed with me when there's no (visible) cat there.
I'm sorry if this isn't making much sense. I really have to pee and want to hit Post before I get up.
TL;DR Cats love me, even in death
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